Quality time!

So my GF is out of town so I had some quality time with her almost 11 year old son (AKA sunny boy). He didn't want to go bowling or to a movie so we just came home and played catch! My sister has my mitt so I used one of his! Turns out all of my catching ability was due to my mitt. So the 80% of the throws flew right by my head and the other 20% I stopped with various parts of my body lol. I did catch one of has fast balls with my hand... HOWEVER it was the hand without the mitt on it OUCHY!! He got a good laugh out of it so its all good lol. Anyway you can get it quality time with the kids in your life is wonderful!

Quickie

So I just nee to vent a bit! I am a massage therapy student and just need everyone to know!! Shower Before you come.. Do not come right after the gym! Just because you can't smell yourself doesn't mean We cant smell you!!! So far today I have had 2 great Apt's. One big guy around 50 good muscle did a deep tissue work. Next was my friend Janni She is super cute and was way nice but last Friday i had some not very Hygienic people!!! PLEASE SHOWER LOL

nature of the beast

I feel so crazy the last few days. Floods of emotion crashing around me several times an hour. I hate feeling like this. Depression is a dangerous thing if you let it consume you. Most of the time I am very good at pulling myself out of the darkness but the last few days have been hard to do that. I have felt uneasy this is usually the time I call mama. I have been trying to use my support system but I don't know how to explain what I feel. Mama always just knew what I needed to hear. It was like a peep talk I guess but she was just so good at it. The good news is that I'm pretty sure most of what I have felt to last few day is very much related to my monthly surge in hormones lol. Thank god its almost over.!! I should be back to myself tomorrow for sure. Thanks to Monica for putting up with me the last few days lol and as always thanks to my girlfriend for dealing with a crazy lady a few days a month.

My girls

I would just like to thank all the amazing females in my life.
Starting with my sisters Kaysie and Carly. I don't know how I would get through my life without you guys. The bond we share is deep and unbreakable. You are my best friends and my favorite party buddies. I love to laugh with you, cry with you, and just be around you. I love you both with all me heart.

Now on to the other love of my life. My girlfriend is so incredible. You make me so happy. Our life together is more than I could have ever dreamt of. I feel so much love from you and sunny boy. There isn't a minute that goes but that I don't feel thankful for your love. You make me smile. I feel so safe and secure with you. Thank you for everything. I love you so much! You are my world! MUAH

Fleeting Emotions

I am fine. I am good. These are the words that come flying out of my mouth everyday. Wake up push it away. Compress the pain. I put on a mask and start the show. Then it creeps up. The pain the reality that she is gone! I think "oh my god how could this be real". I push it down the wave of sadness is gone again but for how long. Every thing I think and feel is temporary.Happiness,anger,sadness come on fast and leave in a flash. I feel lost and floaty like I'm always confused. I don't remember who I am. Who I am was always so wrapped up in her! My sisters and I keep saying we feel broken. I guess that the only way to describe our selves after our world was shattered.
I miss you so much mama I love you!