Like it was yesterday!

I can't lie I'm dying inside.. time passes and doesn't help.
I feel like you just left... I feel cut in half.
I can't push it away mom.. you were the biggest part of me..
It's more exhausting than ever to pretend I'm OK.
For the first time in my life I think maybe we were to close..
You were my best friend my other half my confidant!
I can't call you can't make you smile can't make you proud!
I miss the way you looked at me.. Like I was sun shine!!
Like I was you! life of the party the one everyone wanted to be around..
All I have ever been was wrapped up in you and now your gone and I don't know who I am!
I am so lost..

By the way Mama, I finally did something you could really be proud of.. I graduated from college Friday. I finished one thing in my life.
I wish you could have been there! It was like I was a purple flash lol They said I went across the stage so fast :) Like fuck you peace out!!! True story tho I was so glad to be done.. You are the only thing missing! I can't remember the last time I was happy.. Can you believe it me of all people to be sad!?? Don't worry I'm still seeing Alison for therapy it does help I think.. And I'm not doing the stupid shit I use to do..

I love you mama! miss you more than words can say.. I also miss me..