Oprah dream

So I just woke up and its kind of become a habit to lay still and try to remember my dream just in case any of it was about my mama! ( I love seeing mama in my dreams. It is amazingly comforting just to know her image is still in my Brain :) ). Anyway as I recalled my dream today I felt the urge to share it because I think I am insane.
In my dream I was Oprah's chef. Her last one got fired because she got fat again lol. It was my job to monitor what she ate and cook her meals. The bitch kept sneaking food and having it flown in from everywhere. I was running all over this huge house looking in closets only to find a BBQ sauce covered Oprah hiding under fur coats. ( My girlfriend would say the fact that Oprah was in a closet stands for something else lol) So at the end on my dream she gets in my face and says if I don't let her eat I'm fired. I said if I let you eat that I'll be fired because you'll become a heffer. ( For the record I don't think I have ever said Heffer while being awake lol). She swung her arm to hit me and missed with her hand, but the saggy bat wing part of her upper arm smacked me hard across my face. I WENT DOWN!! I proceed to roll over and try to crawl away to regroup. Oprah jumps on my back and starts to ride me like a pony. STOP LAUGHING

I should say at this point in most of my dreams I look amazing. I am in great shape and have incredible muscle tone. tee hee

Due to my muscular body I managed to roll her tubby ass off of my and ran to the kitchen. She pursued in hast lol. I jumped off of the counter top weapon in hand tackling Oprah to the ground. I then used the weapon of choice which ended up being a 2 pound bad of baby carrots and started shoving them into her mouth... Then I woke up

I am slightly insane in my waking hours and this is only proof that I am a complete nut job in my sleep..